there's a light at each end of this tunnel

juno_chan @ 2009-12-18T13:32:00

2009-12-18T18:32:27Z

So I've tried my hand at a few SVU fics since getting into the fandom, but am usually displeased about a page in and end up deleting what I have written.

So, of course, the first thing I finished is a holiday fic CHOCK FULL O' ANGST. Others bake chocolate chip cookies for Christmas, I bake angst cookies! I was inspired by 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas' and in particular, the line that leads the cut--because in their line of work, I assume the fates will not always be so kind to our favorite SVU detectives.

title: faithful friends who are dear to us
rating: PG-13 for character death and language
disclaimer: Law and Order SVU is the property of Dick Wolf--no profit is being made off of this work. Title is from 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas'
word count: 1869
summary: This year, everyone he would toast with is gone, so there really is no fucking point. So he leaves early, and he wanders. (Elliot angst, Elliot/Olivia)

It is the crunch of the city, under his feet, and it never changes with the seasons, whether it is the snow of winter or the leaves of fall or the pollen of spring or soot and heat of blinding summer. With hands shoved in the pockets of a well-worn coat, he stomps over snow angels and snowmen, the moisture soaking through his work shoes (should have bought snow boots). The children they belong to will not be desolate at the destruction; children of New York City know that nothing beautiful can last on these streets.

The snow has stopped but the storm never seems to, so he bends his head, the hair thinning everyday, against it. He walks with purpose but keeps his gaze averted lest someone try and wish him a happy holiday.

(Merry fucking Christmas.)

Luckily this is New York and it is far more likely that those outside followed the same theory of thought as he did—just keep your head down and battle your own demons and don’t fucking look at anyone.

It’s early still, the sun still lazily hovering on the horizon and highlighting the sky in colors of pink and yellow, and so he doesn’t know quite what to do with himself. He’s invited to dinner later tonight with Kathy and the kids (of course he is, she tells him, he’s still family and still their father). He is not accustomed to leaving work so early on Christmas Eve; in prior years there would be eggnog before the sixteenth precinct left for evenings with their families (those who had them) and a brief moment of letting the horror of the year go, because after all, the year would be almost over. Time for fresh beginnings.

(As though they actually thought the next year would be any better.)

This year all those he would toast with are gone so there really is no fucking point.

So he leaves early and he wanders.

(Shit.)

First to go is Munch, in February.

He’s shot, which isn’t new. It affects him, which is. He’s in the hospital for a week and packing his desk the week later and Elliot doesn’t understand. It’s a shot to the leg and the doctors with their stern faces (the faces of doctors so often resemble the faces of cops in that carefully schooled expression) tell him he’ll probably always walk with a limp and probably always walk with pain.

Elliot doesn’t understand and expects Munch will ride a desk for awhile and then get back out there. It’s what he’d do, after all.

But instead Munch comes in leaning on a walking stick and carrying a box with his free hand. To empty his desk.

He’s getting older, he explains with a voice that sounds devoid of his usual humor and it’s off-putting. He’s getting older and this damn job is like trying to empty an ocean with a teacup—there’s always another sicko out there, always another vic, and this time the victim had wielded the weapon because really, in the end, the police always end up as the bad guys.

He’s disillusioned.

He’ll be back, they all predict, hell, even Munch predicts.

Olivia (Jesus Christ, Liv…) says he’ll come back as soon as he realizes that with his line of ex-wives, without his coworkers he’ll have no one to bitch to about Big Brother’s latest injustices. She points out he is so big on injustices, how could he stand not to fight it?

And besides, she points out, Munch has no excuse—they’re all getting old.

(But she’s still so, so damn beautiful.)

Munch will be back.

Olivia will not.

She bleeds out in his arms in May.

(And it should have fucking been him.)

The bullet is meant for him but in their partnership the ‘meant to be’s and ‘should have been’s when on the scene never seem to matter. And really, the fucking perp may have been aiming for him but he just wanted to hit a cop, and he does, twice, the sound crackling like a firework in the red brick alley. It happens so fast and everything changes so quickly that just thinking about it makes Elliot feel dizzy and sick.

She crumples and he catches her quick as lightening (not quick enough or the bullets would have been in him and not in her) and sinks with her to the ground and he slams his hands over the wounds rushing blood from her chest, as though that will help keep her blood inside her, as though that will save her. (He pulls her close and tries to breathe as though he can breathe for her and keep her alive alive alive.) She’s bleeding too much, too quickly, and it pours over her fingers, over his fingers, and she leaves a bloody handprint on his navy suit when she grips his lapel as though to keep herself tethered to the world. He hollers for a bus so loud that his voice is hoarse for days.

(Don’t die, Liv, don’t die, don’t you fucking dare die on me, Jesus Christ, Liv Liv Liv…)

He talks to her, because he wants her to hear his voice and not the perp whooping in glee that he shot the fucking bitch full of holes even as Fin slams cuffs on him, even as his legs drip blood on the warm spring pavement from the retaliation shots fired at him, sending him to his knees. He begs her. He bargains, he pleads, he demands, and he whispers hoarsely in her hair that he loves her.

He’s surprised how easy the words come after twelve years of laying unspoken on his lips, through separations and reconciliation and divorce and a thousand, a million cases that tore at their souls (the more broken their souls become the more in love with her he is). Maybe after all these years the words are just superfluous. Maybe they didn’t need to be said at all but he needs to say them (he needs).

She doesn’t answer (can’t answer) but her already white-knuckled grip on the lapel of his suit jacket tightens and it’s all the answer he needs, anyway. She doesn’t cry, because Olivia Benson doesn’t let them win and she doesn’t balk in cowardice or fear. She’s a big girl and she can play with the big boys of the sex crimes division. She just presses against him and holds tight and trembles and tries not to cry, and can’t scream because she doesn’t have enough air. And that’s always been the most frightening, when they don’t scream because they can’t.

(Shhh, it’s okay, it’s okay, you’ll be okay, I’ve got you…)

He takes a swing at the paramedic who tells him upon arrival that she’s already gone. He doesn’t want to hear it; saying it makes it true, makes it real. Cragen grabs his arm to stop him, and he furiously shakes him off and his legs give out under him when he sees he is covered in blood. He falls back down to Olivia on the pavement, Olivia lying in her own blood. Olivia’s blood on his suit.

(Liv Liv, look at me, fuck, Liv…)

The thought of Olivia always causes his chest to tighten uncomfortably and he tightens his fists in his pockets—he wants to be angry. It’s easier to be angry, at the fucking perp for shooting the gun, at Olivia for taking the bullet, at himself for being a breath too slow and a moment too late. It’s easier to be angry because God, if he lets himself hurt he might fly apart in a million directions.

He’s learned to live with the tightening, pressing down on his ribcage like an oppressive hand. Sometimes it squeezes and it sometimes it twists, and he always bites through it. It’s become one of the many scars he carries, war wounds from the battlefield of his job. He always thinks of Olivia, so he knows it’ll never go away. He doesn’t want it to go away, because it’s all he has left of her—the phantom pain.

The winter wind howls past flickering light posts and stings at his face, and he can feel it, and that’s something—Elliot doesn’t do much feeling anymore.

Elliot isn’t surprised when Fin leaves in June, and he isn’t surprised that he doesn’t demand the damn fanfare that Munch (God, that was another lifetime ago) had called for upon his send-off. He’s only surprised that Fin even bothers to mention to him that he’s leaving, stopping by his desk that night with his face drawn into its usual scowl and hands tucked into a leather jacket.

This is why he left narcotics, he says when Elliot asks why. These fucking feelings. Partners taking bullets for one another. Coworkers crumpling. It makes everything complicated, he says. And it’s happening again. And he isn’t waiting around.

(He fucking waits until Liv is dying in his arms to tell her that he loves her, how sick is that?)

Fin doesn’t want anyone else to die for him (God knows Elliot never wanted it, either). So he runs, runs from feeling, runs from the connections that grow between coworkers, between colleagues, between friends. He jumps from department to department, from precinct to precinct, lighting upon each for a brief moment in time and leaving again when those ties, those connections, start to choke at him and he gets spooked.

Elliot thinks he’s probably right.

And now Elliot is alone.

The station is full of new faces and they’re probably sharing eggnog, and Cragen has a transfer request on his desk that Elliot imagines he won’t get to until the New Year. He can’t stay at the one-six (he can’t stay there but he knows there’s no running from her memory). Sometimes he thinks he can’t stay at this job at all, can’t stay a cop, can’t stay in New York, can’t keep existing (her blood is dripping through his fingers and breathe, Liv, please please please…).

Transferring, at least, is a start. (Maybe transferring and his children’s eyes will save him.)

His feet skid a bit on the icy steps of his apartment building, and he can see his breath in short, wispy clouds as he fumbles for his keys. There’s a garland wrapped around the railing, bright and gold and tawdry. It pisses him off, sparkling as though it has any place in this dingy hellhole of a city of pain and blood. He pulls it off, not bothering to do a precautionary check over his shoulder. If anyone’s watching him engage in vandalism, let them call the police.

His lips almost curl up into a smile as he disposes of the garland in the dumpster on the side of the building. Almost. Yeah, let them call the police.

(Yeah, Merry fucking Christmas.)

juno_chan @ 2009-12-14T22:36:00

2009-12-15T03:36:53Z

I WRITE DRABBLES FOR YOU, YES?

FANDOMS ACCEPTED:
Harry Potter
Desperate Housewives
Grey's Anatomy
Pokemon
Law and Order: Special Victims Unit
Disney
Wicked
Rent
Phantom of the Opera
Jekyll and Hyde
Les Miserables
The Mummy/The Mummy Returns

Anyone can play: Request a fandom, characters/pairing, and a prompt. I'll respond with ~100 words of ficlet. :-)

Now, on a lighter note...

2008-11-12T15:36:37Z

Thank you to everyone who responded to my last post--I really appreciate your support. :-)

Now, on a lighter note, although it's earlier than I normally start this, I never actually FINISH by Christmas so maybe by starting now I will...it's that time again...Juno's Days of Ficmas!

And the magic number, this year, my friends, is six.

To those who have been with me a year or more, you know the drill. For those new to my buddy list, three years ago I did the '12 Days of Ficmas' to get myself out of a writing rut and to celebrate being done with all my college applications. I literally wrote a fic a day for twelve days.

That was crazy and I will never do it again.

But I like to offer an abridged version to my flist every year. :-D

Sooo, the drill is:

1) Pick a fandom from the list I will give below (Newly extended this year!)
2) Pick a character, pairing, or group you want it to focus on
3) Give me some sort of prompt (location, phrase, song lyric, etc).
4) First six people to respond get their fic! Woohoo!

Fics will vary in length based on how the plot bunnies pop up in my head.

FANDOMS I WILL WRITE FOR:
Desperate Housewives
Harry Potter
Grey's Anatomy
Pokemon
Wicked
Rent
Footloose
The Mummy/The Mummy Returns
Disney (classics)

If you have a different request, please let me know and I'll let you know if it's feasible (aka, if I know ANYTHING about said book/TV show/movie).

Fa la la la la, la la la la. :-)

juno_chan @ 2008-10-16T00:51:00

2008-10-16T04:55:08Z

Hey guys!

This is a request for, anyone who can spare it, a donation to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.

I'll be participating in the Annual JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes on Sunday, and would love some sponsership from my lovely online friends! My brother was diagnosed six years ago this January and our family participates every year.

My brother's website: www.ericseagles.net

My donation page:

http://walk.jdrf.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=extranet.personalpage&confirmid=87143242

Seriously, even a donation of a few dollars would be amazing. And thank you to Eileen who already donated when I put the link up on Facebook--you are awesome! :-D

On another note, I think I have an ear infection. Woe. :-(

juno_chan @ 2008-08-06T22:52:00

2008-08-07T03:21:34Z

Review of The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor.

Or, "Why I would totally be BFFs with Brendan Frasier".

It was one of those movies that was terrible, but you went into it KNOWING it was going to be terrible, and therefore my friend and I just giggled joyously like children through the entire thing.

Whenever I mention to someone that I saw The Mummy 3, their first question is always, "Was it bad?"

To which I reply, "Yes, but in a completely AWESOME AMAZING WAY."

The Mummy KNOWS it's going to be bad. It embraces it, it pokes fun at itself, and it's just so darn LIKEABLE because it's NOT taking itself that seriously that you can't help but enjoy it. There's meta EVERYWHERE, and corny dialogue, and even cornier jokes, and it's just so wonderfully silly and adorable.

And y'know, on a more serious note, I really love the relationship between Rick and Evelyn (although I have to say, I really missed Rachael Weitz...Maria Bello did her best but she was noticably out of her element). It's so rare to see a FUNCTIONAL, NORMAL marriage in a movie, where they can be having problems without it spelling "OMG END OF MARRIAGE" or "OMG AFFAIR". Because at the beginning, there ARE problems--they're really freaking bored with 'retirement' and it's caused them to fall into a rut, in their lives and with each other--but they obviously still love each other and obviously aren't going to split up anytime soon. It's nice to have a couple without the will-they-or-won't-they, because they already HAVE.

All these wonderfully awful antics of the movie aside, I probably would have loved the movie anyway because I just really freaking love Brendan Frasier.

And why? Not because he's a fantastic actor--he's nothing special. That's WHY I love him, because he's *nothing special* and is just this ridiculously likeable stock actor who you see in almost no movies and definitely not in the tabloids or magazines because he does nothing of interest, I guess. But in a world where we're over saturated with Paris Hilton, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, and Britney Spears, it's so nice to have this actor who just pops up in terrible movies every so often, and puts everything into them.

And he really does put everything into them, no matter how bad the movie promises to be, because he's Brendan Frasier and can't afford to be picky. I said to my friend Courtney after the movie that I imagined Brendan Frasier reacting the same way WE would if offered a movie deal. "A movie? Why, I would LOVE to be in a movie! No, no, no need to approve the script beforehand--someone wants me to be in a MOVIE!!!"

I love Brendan Frasier becaus he can say things like, "Now you will rule...IN HELL!" and be TOTALLY SERIOUS ABOUT IT.

So yes. I love Brendan Frasier, I loved The Mummy 3 (although Weitz would have made it better, unfortunately, unlike Brendan Frasier, Weitz can afford to be picky), and all the critics who slammed it need to chillax and (I can't believe I'm going to say this) be more like Ebert, who appreciated it for exactly what it was and what it was meant to be--a silly adventure with no depth and no motive other than to make you giggle and bounce up in delight as Brendan Frasier shoots stuff.

juno_chan @ 2007-07-22T23:08:00

2007-07-23T03:11:08Z

Oh man. Oh MAN.

*flails*

I just have so much I want to say that I'm going to try and break it down into some sort of order so it at least RESEMBLES something other than nonsense.

The Trio

Oh man. MAN you guys. I love them. I love that Harry has really, y'know, GROWN UP and seems to have lost that edge of self-righteousness and anger at the world, so obvious in OotP. He just KNOWS it has to be him, and he accepts it, and he's ready to deal with it, and he's not going to blame anyone, because it is what it is. He's only seventeen and yet he really seemed...adult. And he was perfectly willing to die for everyone at Hogwarts, and therefore he protected them all! Oh, Harry. I've always been kind of ambigious about you--I liked you but you were never my favorite, but I do love you now.

Unfortunately, not as much as I love Ron. RON. RON. I'm waiting for him to get slammed because OH MY GOD HE ABANDONED THEM, similar to the outcry for his two-chapter fight in GoF with Harry, but the point is, as Harry said, that Ron will always want to come back. Ron left because he is human, because the locket effected him worse than it did Harry or Hermione, and because he was tired and hungry and cold and angry because he thought Harry actually had a PLAN and because there seemed to be no end is sight, and so he got angry and things were said and he left. But he CAME BACK. And I admire that just as much as Harry's unswerving determination--he walked away and then he came back and was able to admit that he was wrong and made a mistake, and all he could do was hope his friends would forgive him. That is why Ron is a Gryffindor. That, plus his devotion to Hermione and keeping her safe--Ron comes under criticism because he bickers with Hermione and upsets her, but he has ALWAYS had her back, from the troll in the bathroom to getting shot with his own backfiring wand while confronting Malfoy to standing there begging Bellatrix to take him instead of Hermione. Ron argues all the time with Hermione but it's obvious how much he loves her--the kind of love that comes from a seven-year friendship blossoming into something more. And that love obviously overcomes all their petty arguments, as we see in the epilogue. Likewise, Ron also loves Harry (though in a different way) enough to risk his own life for him, by jumping in to save him from drowning. The good that he does outweighs the doubts that he overcomes (and as a seventeen year old who always thought his life would be normal, I certainly don't begrudge him those doubts).

And Hermione. Hermione is just brilliant, of course, with the planning and the packing and the cooking and the researching, and so incredibly brave and quick-minded and quick on her feet with all those tight spots that she got her and Harry out of. Nothing would work without Hermione, and I admire that she never leaves Harry, she never gives up. To Hermione, this is as much her destiny and Ron's destiny as it is Harry's. They're his FRIENDS and the idea of leaving never occurs to her. Hermione has always been the one constant in Harry's life, and without her he would have been dead a thousand times over. I adore Hermione because she represents the girl who might not be the prettiest but definitely the brainiest and how they can rise up to the challenge and become a heroine.

The Romance

So, I have praise for Ron/Hermione. I've always loved them. I thought they were very carefully brought together through the entire series, and the hints went from 'subtle' to 'obvious' starting at GoF. I loved how throughout this book they were sorta-kinda-but-not-really together, and it wasn't until the end that it finally broke and we had The Kiss. Cliche? Maybe, but I loved it, mostly because I thought it was going to come up when Ron returned to them (and loved that instead, Hermione started beating him up), and I loved that it was Ron expressing concern for the house-elves that finally spurred Hermione into action. We know she loves those elves! Anyway, I felt satisfied because it's been a long, long, LONG time coming and I was glad that they were finally able to get over themselves enough to finally admit, in the heat of the battle--now or never! as Ron said--that they felt a lot more than just friendship.

I've never liked Harry/Ginny, mostly because unlike Ron and Hermione who exist very, very much independently of one another, I feel as though Ginny exists, at least in the latter books, soley as Harry's Love Interest. Sure, she does...things. Vague things. That we hear about. Vaguely. But the last two books consisted of shoving her down our throats to prove how Super!Awesomely!Cool! she was (and therefore...worthy of Harry?) and this book, whenever she was mentioned it was just Harry angsting about how they couldn't be together. I never got a sense of Ginny. While Ron and Hermione are fully-developed characters in their own right, and I like Ron and I like Hermione and I like them together, I feel as though Ginny is just kind of a prop latched on to Harry. So eh. Their ending, expected, but cliched.

Remus/Tonks is definitely not one of my favorite pairings. First of all, in the books and now in the movie, she comes off as, frankly, having the maturity of a twelve-year-old. For example, last book, yes, it sucks when who you love doesn't love you back, but we're in a WAR SITUATION, can you do something other than mope about with your Sad Hair(tm)? And when she was all "Guess what, Harry??? *wiggles ring finger* TEHE!" Yeah. Wow. She just seems so...ill-suited for Remus, who seemed to need a more mature, stable, secure woman.

However, in whole the book left me disappointed in Remus. First of all, the baby thing came out of left field, and then the fact that Remus decided to wahhhhngst about the whole thing and actually DESERT HIS WIFE (however I felt about said wife) made me wrinkle my nose is disgust. Especially at one point, where someone says, "oh, did you hear? Lupin moved back in with Tonks!" So he had actually LEFT HER. PREGNANT. Good show, Remus. Especially since I'm sure there are preventive measures MUCH more capable than the ones we Muggles have if you absolutely don't want a baby. Plus, the way he acted was as if he had been forced into this all against his will, which isn’t true—Tonks may have kept trying to persuade him both for a relationship and later maybe marriage and a family, but in the end the choice was his to make. And aren't metamorphmagus supposed to be really, really rare? And not heritary (since neither Ted nor Andromeda were)? But their little TEDDY was one? Seriously? And I mean, I understand wanting to name him after Tonks's father, but TEDDY? TEDDY? Anyway, definitely my least favorite, and I was disappointed that Tonks didn't give a thought to her child before rushing into the fray of battle, and therefore leaving little 'Teddy' Lupin an orphan, just like his godfather.

Snape/Lily...well, I can't say I'm shocked but I wasn't impressed, either. Honestly, I loved the fleshing out of James, out of this too-good-to-be-true ideal father who sacrificed himself for his family to a real person who had flaws, and I'm disappointed that St. Lily remained...St. Lily. And Snape really went through all of this because he forever loved/mourned Lily? Meh. And the crying over the letter-of-no-importance that had OMGHERSIGNATURE was over the top, in my opinion. Snape has seen a lot in his life at this point...he may feel pained over seeing her signature, but CRYING over it? Just felt wrong. Although I did think it was interesting that they knew each other before school, and now am sure that the ‘horrible boy’ Petunia was referring to was indeed Snape, and not James or Sirius.

Other Characters

Going back to Snape, I was glad that he got his redemption, because I was afraid that JKR was going to leave him evil and therefore keep the stereotype that all Slytherins were evil. I feel like Snape got the crappiest deal in the entire series, the pawn of everyone and discarded when he was no longer useful. I was glad that Harry pointed out to his son that the bravest man he knew came from Slytherin, although I was disappointed that there was not more show of the houses uniting in the end--again, it was 'Gryffindor is the most loyal/brave/willing to fight, then Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff is somewhere in the middle, then ALL SLYTHERINS ARE EVIL COWARDS!' The other books had suggested that these stereotypes would be broken down and I wish we could have seen more of that.

Neville. Oh man, Neville. I LOVE Neville. I know a lot of people say that he bears little resemblance to the Neville in the past, but I feel as though his change over the last few books has been subtle enough that I could buy this Neville. After all, in the first book even shy, uncertain, and unskilled Neville stood up to Harry, Ron, and Hermione to try and stop them from sneaking out. He's always been brave, it only took a couple of years for it to fully blossom, as it started to in OotP. And now that the ringleaders are gone, Neville has shown how much he has learned and grown and stepped up. I love that Neville's grandmother is now just bursting with pride for him (and I love that Neville's grandmother totally went to fight!), I love that Neville was the one to kill the snake, I love that Neville faced Voldemort and turned down an offer that, at that desperate moment, may have been tempting, without a second thought. Mostly I love that Neville knows who he is now, and loves who he is, and feels worthy to be in Gryffindor. Almost more than anyone else, maybe even more than the trio, I feel as though we've watched Neville grow up.

I love Luna and actually shipped Harry/Luna, because I feel as though she gets Harry in a way that no one else does. She’s wacky but she’s really able to tune into the needs and feelings of others, as well as remain calm and just generally diffuse a situation, just by being herself.

Going back to Remus, this book has made me reevaluate how I really felt about him. Before I was put-off by his reaction to Tonks and the baby, thinking ‘Remus wouldn’t shirk from his responsibilities’, but, well…yes, he would. This is the man who let a (supposed) murderer run around because he was too ashamed to admit something he had done twenty years ago. Left his job rather than fight. Remus likes to run away from his problems and pretend they aren’t there and only when they explode does he have to face the mess, a mess that is now bigger than it would have been in the first place, and this honest look at his character leaves me disappointed.

His death barely fazed me, crazy, since I was so afraid he was going to be killed before, since I loved him so much. But the deaths I was the most effected by were Dobby and Fred, I think. Dobby just because he was such an innocent, and definitely because of the fact that Harry and the other boys dug his grave by hand. And Fred just because he was the Weasley death we were all expecting.

Speaking of Weasleys, Percy returned! I was glad that at the end, the Weasley family, while obviously not complete what with the death of Fred, was at least no longer estranged. And I love that Mrs. Weasley got to kill Bellatrix, protecting the children that she had left. I really felt for her, and I think it was the description of her collapsed on Fred’s chest that really killed me.

I loved the story of the Dumbledores and the fact that Dumbledore was not, in fact, perfect, and actually rubbed elbows with a seriously Dark wizard. I liked the suggestion that no one is born evil and has to choose at some point the path they will take in life. I also thought it was interesting that Grindelwald apparently felt remorse later on, and tried to stop Voldemort from obtaining the wand. You have to wonder what separates these two dark wizards—what makes one able to feel remorse, and the other not? At the end of the series I was pleased that all the characters, save for Lily and Voldemort, had been either taken off their pedestals or shown to not be the ultimate evil (for example, the Malfoys, who held the pureblood ideal but obviously loved their son very much, as their concern the entire book seemed to be completely for him—Lucius even approached Voldemort about it when it was obvious that the safest thing for Lucius to do would be stay far, far out of Voldemort’s way).

As the pages wore on I feared we wouldn't see McGonagall at all! However, what we did see I was definitely not disappointed with! It's funny because a few days ago, I happened to think that someone as intelligent as McGonagall, and someone with such a sense of justice and fair play, seems like a better fit for Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff. But she definitely proved in this book that she is a Gryffindor through and through. I also loved looking back at the evolution of how Harry viewed her, from the overly strict Head of House (back in the first book) to a valuable ally and friend, someone to defend even at risk to himself. For all the talk of Dumbledore loving Harry, Minerva loved him too and Harry obviously held a lot of affection for her, as well.

I liked that finally, in the seventh book, the Dursleys showed some humanity, though I wonder why it took SO long for Dudley to realize, hey, Harry saved his life! Well, we do know that Dudley is slow. Again, I thought it fit into the arc that people can be redeemed and that people can change, and I wish we could have known if Harry and Dudley did meet at some point down the road.

Plot

Quite honestly, the Deathly Hallows was kind of…confusing. As others have pointed out, the symbol’s never shown up before, and the idea of the Elder Wand was kind of…buh? For something so important, it was pretty crudely explained, and at a very late point, as well, although I did like the fact that the Cloak was one of the three hallows, and thought it was even more interesting that it wasn't the hallow that Harry would choose. However, I had to reread that section quite a few times before I understood what happened, as well as Harry’s logic at the end about how the Elder Wand was really his. The ending scene between Voldemort and Harry was cliché, maybe, but I enjoyed it up until Voldemort’s actual death, which was almost briefly mentioned, and I guess I had expected something more dramatic than “then he was hit and then he died.”

The whole book felt kind of…rattled, it never settled into a flow, it jumped from place to place, but I felt that this was entirely appropriate for the tense mood of the book, caught up in the midst of a war. You never felt settled with what you were reading, you were always on guard, always going back and checking to make sure what you read was what you read because it leapt around so fast that if you skimmed a paragraph, you’d miss it. I really enjoyed the roller-coaster feeling of it all.

I loved that Ron’s fear of saying Voldemort’s name became canon and I thought it was a little genius nugget bit of plot, because it was a good point—the Order were the people saying the name, not the followers.

I also really liked the insight into the Ministry, and how that was almost more frightening than the actual battle at the end—the torture, the mind games, the people who pretended they had the best interests of everyone in mind and could bring down the world around your ears with a single word and a stroke of the pen. It was terrifying, all the more so because corrupt government, unlike dark wizards, is a very real thing for the world to have to deal with.

I must confess that I still really have no idea why Harry didn't have to die and got to go back or whatever...the explanation totally flew over my head. Voldemort had part of Harry? So Harry was still alive through Voldemort? But when Voldemort died, shouldn't Harry die? And if Harry lived isn't there still a Horcrux, then? Buh? What?

I wasn’t a fan of the epilogue, because as soon as I read 'Lily' and 'James', I groaned. Seriously, JKR, you just validated about a thousand horrible fanfics! She even threw in 'Albus Severus' for extra good (read: bad) measure. I would have liked to have known what careers they all had, and if McGonagall was headmistress now, and who the hell is Victoire anyway? Who does she belong to?

Final Thoughts

Overall, I was very pleased with the book, however, I may later have another response full of more gripes. I haven’t read the reviews of many others yet, many whom may have very legitimate complaints about the book that may change my opinion. For now, I’m just going to wrap up this very long review and reflect on the fact that we have reached the end.

Well, the end of canon. Now fandom…

juno_chan @ 2005-11-27T19:59:00

2005-11-28T01:02:13Z

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